Positive cases of the coronavirus were confirmed on the day I was having my second interview at this hotel. I was surprised that on that day, they gave me an offering letter where I have to sign immediately, without further negotiation, and without any more consideration. I was not satisfied with the amount of salary that I will receive, but the fact that I have been unemployed for 2 months made it feel that it would be a wise decision to accept the offer. Two weeks later, in mid-March 2020, I started my new position working in the hospitality industry, where I am part of a Marketing team for an international, 5-star hotel.
In my first two weeks of work, some cities started to implement lockdowns, and public transportation was limited. Some colleagues started to work from home. And me? As a newbie I stayed at the office, working every day for a month — alone with a colleague (that makes it the two of us) before I was finally allowed to work from home.
My job is not exactly a perfect dream job, but I am more than grateful to change my status to “employed” during this hard time. This job is less time-consuming and less stressful compared to my previous job, and I can work during “office hours” where I won’t be bothered by work at home. I can save a lot of money because the office provides me lunch. I was positive that this is what I am looking for.
Little do I know that that is not enough to keep me satisfied.
Let me tell you a story about my previous life. For 2 years I worked in a digital advertising agency. I could handle a bunch of clients at a time, and not to mention the third parties that I have to work with. Every second count. My flexible working hours enables me to work anytime and anywhere. I could even work for 20 hours a day, I always feel like I am running out of time. The more I thought of it, the more I realized that I was being exploited with unrealistic deadlines. My body was not so cooperative in dealing with stress. Migraines, throw-ups, even salmonella has become part of my routine. No matter how much I love what I’m doing, the friends and amazing people I worked with, no matter how much I earned, but having to live day-by-day so hectically is not something that I want. Therefore, I quit.
It has been 3 months since I started having the life I wanted, I guess. On this day today, I would like to admit that I hate it. I hate my boss, I hate my colleagues that complains about everything, I hate the messy work and lack of communication that makes every easy thing challenging, I hate the old office building, I hate the lack of hygiene, I hate the dress code requirements, I hate the amount of salary that I’m receiving, I hate the irrelevant pressure and anxiety that I have to deal with each day, and most importantly, I hate how I cannot grow to learn something that I am enthusiastic about. The role that I have is something very exciting, but everything in the process is just so wrong. I embarrassed about my performance. I thought my 2 years of working in an agency has taught a lot about emotional intelligence, but I was wrong.
I am always grateful for what I have, trust me, I am very good at seeing the bright side in everything, and making everything a lesson for me to grow. I want to learn, and I am a hard worker. However, these circumstances change my whole perspective.
- My salary was cut by 40%, I was forced to take unpaid leaves. This does not bother me, and I found it quite fair to have my salary being reduced to enjoy a relaxing time at home. I still live with my family, I have a nice bed, and I can have 3 meals a day for free.
- I was still working actively on my unpaid leaves. It was quite a burden at first, but then I kinda get used to it. I’m used to working 24/7 anyway.
- A colleague who I worked with, got his contract terminated. I have to cover his job, and I am an amateur of what he’s doing.
- I haven’t received my salary slip since April. I work at home with my own laptop, with my own internet connection. And I have covered some job that is not on my job description.
- I feel like a failure. I guess I’m just too hard on myself. I cannot support my parents financially, I cannot support my friend’s businesses. I cannot treat my family with good food. Maybe it’s time for me to be the one they help, and they did.
Yes honey life is unfair, people are losing jobs and it’s a very hard time getting one. I know I know, call me ungrateful.
On the bright side, this condition forced me to grow, to be creative to keep earning income. The good news is, I’m finally starting a culinary business where I managed everything from the cooking to marketing. It is only 25 days old, but I love how my business grows. I love the increasing followers on social media, I love how it gained recognition within similar brands, people from the niches, and even relevant influencers. I love how much I learned about product development, I love the feeling of making my customers happy. I love receiving feedback on how to improve my product. Running this is challenging but nothing is comparable to the satisfaction that I am receiving. Most importantly, it made me realized how much I am being loved and supported by the people around me.
This condition enables me to focus on my business, and this might temporary before everything goes back to normal. I have to get back to my real job.
I would appreciate any advice that you could give to keep me motivated to work without getting paid, and doing my college’s job that I shouldn’t do.
Best regards,
DM
